“I accept chaos, I’m not sure whether it accepts me.”- Bob Dylan
I do not get things right the first time. This is probably because once I decide to do something, I leap wholly into the first opportunity I am given to do it. This leads to many false-starts, bad choices and bruised tailbones (in this regard I’m specifically speaking to all the times I’ve eaten shit blindly trying a trick for the first time on my snowboard). I try to think things through, or proofread, or do more research, but when I decide on action I apparently have no choice but to take action- and take as much action as possible.
I’m a caster of a wide net. Because I have this personality trait that is hardly ever at ease with, ‘doing nothing’ (as I sometimes feel when I sit contemplating something for too long), I counteract the lack of solidity in my, ‘half-baked plans’ with the sheer volume of half-baked plans I create. If you throw enough wet pasta at a wall, some of it will stick, right? I up the quality after I get through the quantities- the act of trying all the ideas as they arise is my way of filtering through the ‘good ideas’ and the ‘never do this again’ ideas. You end up getting some bumps and bruises along the way, but let me tell you this- you are sure to never make the same mistake twice. When you break your foot or get called out for misspelling an athletes name (whose misspelling happens to be another famous competing athlete), you make sure to never EVER do it again. The pasta sticks.
I need to remember that some day I will be old, and look back at my anxieties as silly petty things and wonder how they ever kept me from doing anything at all. I am young, I have youth, vigor and a thirst for adventure. Someday I won’t have all of those things, so I need to live now- live now and don’t hold back, because hesitation only breeds anguish and unrest. Anguish and unrest are no fun at all. So chaos- I welcome you with open arms, let’s do something cool.
(Full disclosure: I didn’t land that flip.. Next time!- Brighton Resort backcountry in Brighton, Utah)