Making Decisions

My mother’s family was raised Jewish. I like to think that I get my chronic need to pinch pennies and forgo frivolities through some osmosis of my mom’s and grandparent’s heritage. I don’t know if that actually is possible, but that’s what I’m going with.

Because of this, I can get major anxiety when trying to decide if I should purchase something or not. $1.50 for the bus? Fuck that, I’m only a mile and a half from home and it’s technically above freezing, I should walk instead of take the bus. $5 sandwich that has everything I want vs. $4.50 sandwich that I could technically eat since it doesn’t have meat… that decision usually takes a good 15 minutes.

What I should really be doing is adding the amount of time I’m about to take agonizing over my choice and work out whether my time is worth the difference between the two costs. I’ve been working at my ability to start considering external costs and non-monetary benefits. The last couple days I’ve decided to spend money on things that I look at and don’t feel that I NEED these things to survive, but that getting them would up my quality of life and happiness. I do have to know when too much spending is too much, because the opposite of being happy with buying a few extra things is being broke and not being able to pay for shit.

And there you go, a short glimpse into my mind and how I make minor day-to-day choices. Seeing it written out up there is funny; it looks way more intense typed out than when I’m going over it in my head haha.

Two things that are very average for others were big exciting events for me today:

1.) I bought some foundation from Sephora (a BareMinerals set with brushes, foundation and bronzer)

2.) Got a gym membership at 24 hr fitness (the guy helping me out looked literally stunned that I’d never even set foot in a 24 hour fitness before. I’ve noticed that I’m really good at surprising people in Utah when I don’t expect to).

These things are good for me; I’m working out how I want to live out here where things are really different from places I’ve lived for almost my entire life. I’ve visited a huge range of places, but there’s a sever difference between visiting a place and living there for months.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what that photo on the other page is about, that was at a bar in AK from this past March. Lifeproof cases are proven in most liquids, I was taking the testing to the fields.


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